Reminder

Thank you universe!!!
I was feeling a bit down in the dumps due to lack of sleep and finances... but life has a subtle way of reminding us that we are awesome... right when we need it most.

Thank you to my wonderful client for the kind words... your timing was perfect, and I literally got a re-boot after a sleepless night with my little teething babe.

Lastly, but never least... thank you to my husband for reminding me of how awesome we are together. I was reminded all over again how much you love me as you sang along to "lady" with all sincerity in your beautifully tone-deaf octave's.

I adore you my cheese-ball.
I am, and will always be... your lady.



Look for your reminder today. It is there, you just need to be open to receiving it.

Mucho Love!

Baby girl...

 Sloane Bologna (Boppa's nickname for you),


Wow... where has the time gone?!
You are nearing 9 months old already!


I fall more in love with you more each day. From your smiling face in the morning... to your warm breaths as you sleep. My little Sloane.


I must admit that I was a tad fearful of having you... a little girl. I was raised around boys, and felt more at ease around boys... I knew that you would change me, as your sister has... for the better.


I hope to have the mother/daughter relationship where you look up to me as a guide, trust me like a dear friend, and laugh with me like a carefree child.
I wish us a beautiful relationship, but also a beautiful individuality. I don't want to change you, but assist you in blossoming into Sloane.


You are now eating avocados, bananas, all baby foods, and wafer crackers. You are currently still being breastfed and take formula when I'm away at work. I would say that your first word was Mama... but that's up for conjecture as it always seems to be unintentional (doo da MAMA sssss dooo)... but hey, we'll stick with that for now. :)


Papa likes to set you on the toilet at 10:30am every morning so you can "expel waste", and it is actually working... well, 50% of the time. The other 50% we still get you to the toilet, but just not as timely. You seem to love it, and I think you will be quick to pick that up.
You sure are a quick little learner! You are constantly pulling yourself up to tables, couches, and even a leg! You have dared to stand on your own (by 8 months!), but seem to not be in a rush toward walking freely.


Take your time little one... I have all the time in the world to watch you grow.


I am so blessed to have you in my life little one. Thank you for choosing me as your mother.
You are amazing.
I look forward to all that you have yet to show me as I have already learned so much from you.


Mucho Love,
xo-Mama

Turn, turn, turn.

Another year of life is looming in the coming week... I'll be turning the big 3-5.

This year (more than any other) I am taking the time to reflect. To really soak in my current position in life.

I am reflecting with questions like:
What do I give?
What do I take?
Who do I choose to surround myself with? Is this a beneficial relationship?
What I have I failed at, and in turn, learned?
What can I do to better my situation?
Do I pause enough?
What do I want? Where do I want to be?

This particular year I have taken on quite a bit more than any other. I've had a lot to tackle from my daughter's pregnancy and birth, my son's many ER visits, my step kids schedules, my teeth, my business, my home, and my extended family... the list goes on and on... and not minor issues at that.

Here I am, reflecting... I look with these unbiased eyes (well, as unbiased as I can be) and see... with clarity. I see that we are all lost... trying to figure this whole thing out.
Still...
Always...

The only thing that will separate you from me in this world is how we react, and what we take from our lessons and reflections (if we choose to pause and reflect). Their aren't any right or wrong answers, but maybe... more thoughtful and reflected upon ones... and, that's what I want for myself. To be honest, thorough, and genuine.

In the end, I hope that I am reacting the best way... the way that creates the least harm and the most love (for others as well as myself). The way that inspires and makes hearts beat with joy...
This is the kind of year I want for myself. That is the kind of year that, in reflection, I deserve.

For my Birthday in the coming week I will take all of your love and well wishes... roll them up in a big ball and smash it with a loud bear hug... for I am 35, and this is my year!

Like the song says, "To Everything There is a Season", and this will be my season of blooming joy! 

Turn, turn, turn - The Byrds

Mucho Love!

Chew on this...

I am a wife, mother, and step-mother. 

My children have an amazing father. All four of them. I see the word "equality" floating around a lot lately... mainly in regards to gay marriage. However, this is not the only area in which equality has yet to gain momentum... there is also the area of Fatherhood. I hope that someday our Government will see all Fathers as equals to Mothers. In my humble opinion, I believe that it is barbaric to assume one is better, or more needed than the other. All parents are needed... the more love the merrier!!!

I was reminded of this today, when I saw Jeremy at play with our young ones. I realized in this awareness that I am blessed. I see him for the amazing person and parent he is, and for all that he can teach, give and love. I am lucky enough to be enlightened... actually, it's quite simple... love. We must not ask anything of each other, but only give and allow others the same right. The equal right. 

After an scary incident that I was placed in this summer with my son... I am aware of how quickly it all can change, and how beautiful it all truly is. I am awake. I am grateful. 

Mucho Love!

30 seconds

"Mama close your eyes..... Mama open them......"

I am under a big white sheet with the biggest blue eyes smiling at me.

"Mama close your eyes.....", tears just stream a hot liquid down the side of my face and then I kiss those warm cheeks filled with rosy life cuddled up next to me.

I have my little boy.

I cannot forget one detail. It is forever imprinted in my brain.

Beautiful day. Sunny... blue skies, puffy white clouds.

Adrayn was sitting on the outside of the ladder to the pool as Jeremy went in with Sloane inside the house to get ready for work. I was beginning to mow the back yard with an old push mower as Adrayn was filling up a medicine syringe in the pool and squirting me with every pass of mowing... Giggling the whole while.

When Jeremy came out to head to work my attention moved.... 30 seconds.

Jeremy asked where Adrayn was. I ran to the pool. He was there.... At the bottom..

I turned into a machine right then.

My emotions were gone. I jumped over the side and scooped up his limp body... I noticed he was twitching under the water. I then laid him on the ground and saw that his face was blue... he was not breathing. Jeremy placed Sloane down and ran over in disbelief. I have never seen fear in this man like I did yesterday.

He started rescue breathing and then placed Adrayn on his side.

I picked Sloane up and dialed 911. The ambulance was in our backyard in 2 minutes or less.

Jeremy got Adrayn breathing prior to the ambulance so we started seeing the blue slip away to gray... Then flesh... I then jumped in the ambulance with Adrayn and Jeremy stayed back with Sloane to meet us at HCMC by car.

We were rushed to the ER to get a chest x-ray. Adrayn was talking on the ambulance ride but when we arrived to HCMC he was lethargic so more tests.

After 2 hours we were sent to pediatrics for overnight supervision.

My beautiful little boy is here.

I urge you to all rethink those summer pools as it was so silent, and Adrayn was always confident in the pool prior to this incident (always with supervision, of course). He was dying and I didn't know....I wasn't there when my baby needed me. Thoughts still race through my mind... what was he thinking, what if Jeremy didn't ask? I have to let it go and just be thankful.

I am... I am sooooo thankful that he is alive, and that my reaction was survival mode, and that Jeremy asked where he was and was a pro at rescue breathing. I am so thankful that Adrayn is sitting next to me with a new chance at life and yapping my head off about snowballs and staining my shirt with cherry juice.

It hit me last night when he was wide awake in the hospital at 10pm..."Mama close your eyes... Mama open them".... this would have been a game that we almost never got a chance to play....

Hug your babies extra tight tonight. Be thankful. It only takes 30 seconds.

The final countdown

Yawn... ahhh.... 

Here I am, up waaaay too late... but the kids are at the drive-in with do-it-all-dad (aka Jeremy), and I cannot help but realize how much I have to be thankful for.

It is the final countdown before the Spa opens, and I can begin to breathe again... but as I begin to breathe I am feeling a tad tearful... in the most amazing way.
I am proud... of myself, my friends, my family... this is really happening?! I have managed school, then pregnancy, then working when pregnant, now baby and opening a spa?!

Why am I so lucky? How did this all get to this point?
Last I remember I was left with a choice, and I cannot help but think that it was the best thing that has happened in my professional life yet. I was introduced to an amazing talent... with whom I am partnering with in opening Tula. Not to mention the help that we have gotten... it's like all the previous jobs I have ever held have led me to today... again... tearful.. 

I am in awe. 

Thank you all for helping make my/our dream happen! I cannot put any words into the feeling that I have right this moment... it creates chills, and fills my heart all at once... just no words can begin to describe it.

Thank you MORE than you can ever know Lisa, Corey, Claire & Lissa... this is more than just a project... it is a future for a family as well as a freedom for a friend to do what her passion is... and you helped make that happen!

You are truly the dream-maker team.

Carisa and I must have some amazing karma!

Mucho Love!

Amy

Mother's Day take 2

To all my fellow Step Mama's out there...

I want to share a story as this coming Sunday (Sunday following Mothers Day) is Stepmothers Day.

A few months back I recall pulling taffy with my stepdaughter... The recipe said "pull taffy for 20 minutes", and after 35 minutes with sloppy, sticky taffy still glued to my hands I looked to my stepdaughter and decided to make the best of it. Although I was tired from a full day of giving massages I pulled out my silliest voice and said "It's time to make ze muscles ven ve pull de tah-FE"... and it's then... right then, when her exhausted face turned into magic. Her eyes lit up and she started in with her own silly voice.... and I knew it... I helped make that happen.

That's what being a step parent is... it's what being a parent is...  because in the end we are all teachers, chefs, inspirations, and loves to all of our children. We may not see it now... but we will someday.

Happiest of Days... cherish your role in the little ones eyes, as you are magical.


Mucho Love!