Turn, turn, turn.

Another year of life is looming in the coming week... I'll be turning the big 3-5.

This year (more than any other) I am taking the time to reflect. To really soak in my current position in life.

I am reflecting with questions like:
What do I give?
What do I take?
Who do I choose to surround myself with? Is this a beneficial relationship?
What I have I failed at, and in turn, learned?
What can I do to better my situation?
Do I pause enough?
What do I want? Where do I want to be?

This particular year I have taken on quite a bit more than any other. I've had a lot to tackle from my daughter's pregnancy and birth, my son's many ER visits, my step kids schedules, my teeth, my business, my home, and my extended family... the list goes on and on... and not minor issues at that.

Here I am, reflecting... I look with these unbiased eyes (well, as unbiased as I can be) and see... with clarity. I see that we are all lost... trying to figure this whole thing out.
Still...
Always...

The only thing that will separate you from me in this world is how we react, and what we take from our lessons and reflections (if we choose to pause and reflect). Their aren't any right or wrong answers, but maybe... more thoughtful and reflected upon ones... and, that's what I want for myself. To be honest, thorough, and genuine.

In the end, I hope that I am reacting the best way... the way that creates the least harm and the most love (for others as well as myself). The way that inspires and makes hearts beat with joy...
This is the kind of year I want for myself. That is the kind of year that, in reflection, I deserve.

For my Birthday in the coming week I will take all of your love and well wishes... roll them up in a big ball and smash it with a loud bear hug... for I am 35, and this is my year!

Like the song says, "To Everything There is a Season", and this will be my season of blooming joy! 

Turn, turn, turn - The Byrds

Mucho Love!

Ch- Cha- Cha- Changes...

So many subtle changes are happening. Slowly pants are becoming less comfortable, and back aches more apparent. All so quiet and subtle as if just a gentle reminder that a human being is forming inside my belly. More changes.... I am growing older! I will be celebrating my 31st birthday this coming Friday ( 10/09/09)!!

I am very excited to see family and friends, and feel like I have been sleeping too much or staying at home to nest these days. It will be nice to see you all that I love and adore, and to celebrate another year of life as I have a new appreciation for it!

I am also eager for my birthday as it means that the ultrasound is only 4 days after!! I will *hopefully* know the baby's sex at that time!! Is it me, or are most first time mothers this eager to know the sex?!

I am worse than a 5 year old with Christmas!

Pregnant Lady | 17 Weeks

 

Sorry for the pictures, Jeremy is at work and I really wanted to write something while I felt the urge, so again... self-taken belly pictures aren't easy!

I am now officially wearing maternity pants. I just can't handle the always present snuggie that my "normal" pants bring, and am tired of feeling like a slob wearing my sweats all day. I am back to feeling human again by wearing jeans, albiet with elast-o belly!

Sometimes I have to sit and ponder how it is possible to experience all of this?! First, if their is such a thing as a "spirit" how does the one in my unborn child get there? Does it choose me, is it random, or predestined? Does this spirit exist in the baby now, or is it something that happens later in the human-making-process? These questions may sound silly, but I really am curious about it all. I realize this is something I will never know, and will have to shelve along with "Why am I here?", and "What came first the Chicken or the Egg?".

I guess it's a beautiful, yet annoying phase of question that I'm in at the current moment.

Not much else to report this time around. Just anxious as ever! I will let you know how the party and ultrasound go! Have a wonderful weekend if I don't see you before!

Mucho Love!