Sweet Child O' Mine

As I write this I am holding in a hurt that swells my heart so much that I breathe in hot pain with every inhale. A pain that only a mother with a recent glimpse of possibly losing a child can fathom. 

I am reminded again of how precious these moments with our children are. Our children are never promised, and those that lose sight or believe for a moment otherwise are fortunate enough to not know what my husband and I do.

It's a lonely place. A place that will ignite you in flames while everyone close to you cluelessly watches from the sidelines. 

This pain does fade, and it also comes when times are blissful, as the appreciation is overpowering and the beauty overtakes you. There is no light without the darkness.

I want to thank my loving support...

Thank you my beautiful daughter, Sloane. You were born into a family, where at many moments you came second. I remember putting you down in the yard when you were just months old and your brother had a near drown in our little pool from his first seizure. You have never been angry with him. You have always put forth an unwavering love and support for your brother. You are an angel in disguise. I love your young but wise heart for your continual selflessness. Thank you.

Thank you Adrayn for showing me what is truly important in this life. Even after you had your most recent seizure, you started to come out of it and looked up at your Papa as he held you in his strong and protective arms, and you said "You are the best Dad". I melt.... You are so kind and grateful for everything... everything! All the time... even in the darkest times. Thank you.

Lastly, this whole experience has taught me that I have found my true love. I'm not talking some fantasy camp roses and chocolates love, I'm saying I can ugly cry in a closet to try to hide my pain from the kids and you will know right where to find me... and when you do you say nothing but hold me. I can be vulnerable, I can be afraid, I can scream, I can love, I can cry at the most beautiful moments and you will always know where I am and what I need. Thank you Jeremy.

Thank you for reading my very transparent post. It's healing for me to write. 
Mucho Love.

Adrayn picked this song out last week. Like many moments, the words caught me off guard, and I teared up.
Song: Sweet Chlid O' Mine
Band: Guns and Roses