Chew on this...

I am a wife, mother, and step-mother. 

My children have an amazing father. All four of them. I see the word "equality" floating around a lot lately... mainly in regards to gay marriage. However, this is not the only area in which equality has yet to gain momentum... there is also the area of Fatherhood. I hope that someday our Government will see all Fathers as equals to Mothers. In my humble opinion, I believe that it is barbaric to assume one is better, or more needed than the other. All parents are needed... the more love the merrier!!!

I was reminded of this today, when I saw Jeremy at play with our young ones. I realized in this awareness that I am blessed. I see him for the amazing person and parent he is, and for all that he can teach, give and love. I am lucky enough to be enlightened... actually, it's quite simple... love. We must not ask anything of each other, but only give and allow others the same right. The equal right. 

After an scary incident that I was placed in this summer with my son... I am aware of how quickly it all can change, and how beautiful it all truly is. I am awake. I am grateful. 

Mucho Love!

First Loves

Dear Parker and Presley,

I have been wanting to write you for so long, but it hasn't ever come together like I'm hoping it will today. My mood is right... the kids are busy with Papa... it is time.

I wanted to thank you from a space that had been untouched in my heart until I met you. My glowing beautiful children... step children...
You have awakened a part of me that I didn't know I could handle. You have shown me a side of myself that I always wanted to be. I am more than thankful to have met you in this lifetime as well as to still have you in my life... in Adrayn and Sloane's life as well.

I remember Parker... when you were so small and shy... then once you warmed up to me you were loud and wild just like your untamed red lion's mane. You were so excited about being outdoors and when you were pent up all winter you were not shy to run around the house naked... I even remember a time when you were showing me how you could blast a toy rocket off of your "boy parts"... yep... I'm sure that will be embarrassing someday... like now. :)
Now, you are more reserved, and protective of your feelings. A bit more video games and books. I still see the fire in your eyes when you and your Papa wrestle or you play in the pool on a hot summer day. I love you dearly my beautiful red headed step child. More than you know.

Oh Presley... my sweet, thoughtful girl... you were only a mere 4 years old when I met you... I am probably the only woman you truly remember your father with. You always wanted to copy everything I did... from my beauty mark to my shoes... this helped me to want to be a better person. Always. Your thoughtfulness has never escaped you, even as you grow older... you have become even more thoughtful! I look forward to our cooking/baking concoctions gone awry! At least we know that it typically takes only 3 times to get it right! I will never forget our taffy pulling, or Kids News... you always know how to crack me up. Love you!

I am so loved, and blessed in this life. I am truly surrounded by the most amazing people... and you two top the charts.

Mucho love my sweets. I know I am not your birth mom, but I do know that I love you more than you will ever know, and to me... that's what a parent is all about.

The joys of being a step-parent...

Since I don't have a child of my own (yet), I only know what it is like to nurture others. I have been in love with children since I was a child myself and have always wanted to be a mom.

When I met my current boyfriend (Jeremy), children were part of the package, and not once did I think of that as an obstacle. I am very happy to have 2 wonderful kids in my life, and feel that they have and are showing me how to be the best mom to them and our unborn child.

I realize that I don't get the same kind of love that a blood parent that knew them from birth does, but I do get a different kind of love that I am more than welcoming of.

I am also awakened to a whole new sense of patience that I was unaware of! Wow, I knew I was impatient, but that is changing, as well as not getting things done exactly the way I had planned...

Parker and Presley have shown me to take a breath more often, and to explain the "whys" in life more, often leaving me with MORE questions myself... which is always great... re-evaluation is a must!

I am very lucky to be a step-mom. Through the tantrums and giggles it is a honor I wouldn't trade.

I think I lost my job this year for a bigger reason, to get to know these great babes a bit more before their father and I thank them with a new sibling next year. People keep asking me if I want a boy or girl... honestly, the more I think about it I don't care as long as the baby is healthy. I am already blessed with one of each.

Pictures from the Pine Tree Apple Orchard 2009

Thank you Parker for always saying the sweetest compliments when you know I need them, you are so aware and sensitive to others feelings it always amazes me. I know the movie that you and Papa are working so hard on will be a great success after much hard work!

Thank you Presley for always making me laugh, you have the most hilarious voices that I have ever heard! You always amaze me with how quickly you learn! Just today you rocked a spelling "test" and left me with my jaw on the floor. I could see from your beautiful secret smile that you were quite proud of yourself. Good job!

Two very bright and beautiful kids, thank you.

Mucho love!