Chew on this...

I am a wife, mother, and step-mother. 

My children have an amazing father. All four of them. I see the word "equality" floating around a lot lately... mainly in regards to gay marriage. However, this is not the only area in which equality has yet to gain momentum... there is also the area of Fatherhood. I hope that someday our Government will see all Fathers as equals to Mothers. In my humble opinion, I believe that it is barbaric to assume one is better, or more needed than the other. All parents are needed... the more love the merrier!!!

I was reminded of this today, when I saw Jeremy at play with our young ones. I realized in this awareness that I am blessed. I see him for the amazing person and parent he is, and for all that he can teach, give and love. I am lucky enough to be enlightened... actually, it's quite simple... love. We must not ask anything of each other, but only give and allow others the same right. The equal right. 

After an scary incident that I was placed in this summer with my son... I am aware of how quickly it all can change, and how beautiful it all truly is. I am awake. I am grateful. 

Mucho Love!

First Loves

Dear Parker and Presley,

I have been wanting to write you for so long, but it hasn't ever come together like I'm hoping it will today. My mood is right... the kids are busy with Papa... it is time.

I wanted to thank you from a space that had been untouched in my heart until I met you. My glowing beautiful children... step children...
You have awakened a part of me that I didn't know I could handle. You have shown me a side of myself that I always wanted to be. I am more than thankful to have met you in this lifetime as well as to still have you in my life... in Adrayn and Sloane's life as well.

I remember Parker... when you were so small and shy... then once you warmed up to me you were loud and wild just like your untamed red lion's mane. You were so excited about being outdoors and when you were pent up all winter you were not shy to run around the house naked... I even remember a time when you were showing me how you could blast a toy rocket off of your "boy parts"... yep... I'm sure that will be embarrassing someday... like now. :)
Now, you are more reserved, and protective of your feelings. A bit more video games and books. I still see the fire in your eyes when you and your Papa wrestle or you play in the pool on a hot summer day. I love you dearly my beautiful red headed step child. More than you know.

Oh Presley... my sweet, thoughtful girl... you were only a mere 4 years old when I met you... I am probably the only woman you truly remember your father with. You always wanted to copy everything I did... from my beauty mark to my shoes... this helped me to want to be a better person. Always. Your thoughtfulness has never escaped you, even as you grow older... you have become even more thoughtful! I look forward to our cooking/baking concoctions gone awry! At least we know that it typically takes only 3 times to get it right! I will never forget our taffy pulling, or Kids News... you always know how to crack me up. Love you!

I am so loved, and blessed in this life. I am truly surrounded by the most amazing people... and you two top the charts.

Mucho love my sweets. I know I am not your birth mom, but I do know that I love you more than you will ever know, and to me... that's what a parent is all about.

Blue house blues

Little Adrayn,

Your Papa and I are in the process of buying a home for our large n' loving family. This way your brother and sister and you will have a more stable place to make friends instead of renting and not knowing how long we'll be at one place.

We have placed an offer on a blue house about 2 weeks ago, and are still waiting to hear back if we have been accepted. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough that your mama has no patience... especially for things like this.

We patiently wait, and wait. In the meantime we will be looking at other homes, but it's fun to think that as I write this we still have the possibility of the blue house. Where ever we end up, I know we will all make it a beautiful home with all the love we have for each other.

I love you Papa for working so hard to build a beautiful future for us, and for your always growing heart.
I love you Parker for helping me to reevaluate everything with your "why's", and for your positivity.
I love you Presley for your thoughtfulness and creativeness.
I love you Adrayn for the new surprises each day, and for that amazing smile.

I love you all my beautiful family, and look forward to what lies ahead.

Mucho Love!

Love!

Love!

Adrayn 11-12 weeks, Parker 9, & Presley 6

Mucho Love!

Mama Day!

Happy Mothers Day to me, and Happy Mother's Day to:
Mom, Joanie, Robyn, Jaime, Amanda, Amber, Autumn, Satya, Nika, Lissa, Nikki, Carrie, Sara, Kendra, Sheila, Laura, Miranda, Betsie, Brianna, Marcia, Dawn, Carrisa, and the millions of other wonderful moms that have given me tips, and praise all the way in my new journey.  Let's pamper ourselves and take a shower! :) Really, right?! I now know what you all meant. :)

 

Moving on....
Okay, someone has to tell me where time goes after you have a child.
I always thought time flew by, like when I'm driving to my parents and all the sudden I snap out of my trance and I'm pulling into their driveway... where did the last 30 minutes go?
This is totally different... like not just minutes are flying by, but days... weeks! Ahhh!!! SLOW DOWN!

My little man has now graduated to size 1 diaper... no more "N" for newborn... :( It's sad... I remember when his little butt was swimming in those newborn diapers... ahhh... I'm sure I'll be saying "I remember when" way too much as well...

I'm as aware as can be, and trying to live in the present as much as possible, but wow... time flies every time I blink. Maybe I'll super glue my eyes open!


Mucho Love!

Results are in...... and it's a baby BOY!

Ahhhhh what a breath of fresh air! Now I can finally get a healthy nights sleep!!!

I have woken up every morning with some dream of me announcing it's a boy, or it's a girl, and then I can't get back to bed because my mind wanders, then I run off to pee for the 5th time... all over and over... and at least now I can put my mind to rest about the baby's sex, and that he has 2 arms and 2 legs with all of his digits intact, and no cleft lip (adorable lips I might add)!

Something puzzling and something good happened at the ultrasound this morning.

Let's start with the puzzling. The ultrasound technician kept stating that she had some concern for the placement of the placenta... then said that my doctor, or mid-wife would look into it further and talk to me if it needed further attention. Well... I have an appointment with my mid-wife on 10/26 so I'll know more at that time. Hopefully all is well with baby, and I can still have the natural birth I was hoping for.

The other thing that was good was that Jeremy and I immediately agreed on a name as soon as the tech left the room. He said "What about Adrian" and I said... I love it but let's spell it with my last name Dray, so it's "Adrayn", and the middle and last name were no-brainers, as they are meaningful family names.

Adrayn David Frandrup is our baby boys name!! How common is that...to agree so quickly?!

We had already had a beautiful girls name in mind, but no boys names... so this is really crazy!

I really need to get someone to take a profile belly shot of me soon! :)

Parker and Presley were almost as excited as I was this morning. Their uncle Jamie was here to babysit bright and early at 815am (thank you Jamie!!) and each of the kids were hoping for the same sex as they are... Parker wanted a boy, and Presley a girl. Presley has already had her wish granted by her mother (a baby sister), so Parker was still brother-less... until today! It was important to me that the kids felt great about the news, and included in everything. I told Parker that he's like my first son, and Presley that she's like my only daughter, so they are excited to share with baby Adrayn, and love the name too!

Jeremy and I thought it would be fun to bring pink and blue candy home, and whichever candy papa grabbed out of my hand and gave them was what their sibling is! They loved that idea... mainly because of the candy factor I"m assuming....

Oh, also I forgot to mention... I'm a whole week farther than I thought! I was thinking around 18.5 weeks, but according to measurements I am 19.5 weeks!! Adrayn is coming sooner than I thought!

I hope I start to feel his little kicks soon, I guess 20 weeks is common for that feeling to start. I'm just happy that I saw him moving like mad around today via the ultrasound with a healthy heart-rate and "normal" skeletor look to him. It's pretty amazing!

Papa Jeremy was the first to notice the sex organs... but they weren't so difficult to spot! This boy is huge! Sorry for my crude language, but it's true! Maybe it's the stage of growth, but for a little 10 ounce guy he's doing alright.

I would post an ultrasound picture, but only got a horrible print out on computer paper, and they don't look too great, so you'll have to wait to see the real Adrayn in March.

I am so excited, it is all so real now!!!!

Oh, and that "Intelligender" test was wrong! :(

Well folks, I'm off to play with Parker and Presley.

Mucho love!

The joys of being a step-parent...

Since I don't have a child of my own (yet), I only know what it is like to nurture others. I have been in love with children since I was a child myself and have always wanted to be a mom.

When I met my current boyfriend (Jeremy), children were part of the package, and not once did I think of that as an obstacle. I am very happy to have 2 wonderful kids in my life, and feel that they have and are showing me how to be the best mom to them and our unborn child.

I realize that I don't get the same kind of love that a blood parent that knew them from birth does, but I do get a different kind of love that I am more than welcoming of.

I am also awakened to a whole new sense of patience that I was unaware of! Wow, I knew I was impatient, but that is changing, as well as not getting things done exactly the way I had planned...

Parker and Presley have shown me to take a breath more often, and to explain the "whys" in life more, often leaving me with MORE questions myself... which is always great... re-evaluation is a must!

I am very lucky to be a step-mom. Through the tantrums and giggles it is a honor I wouldn't trade.

I think I lost my job this year for a bigger reason, to get to know these great babes a bit more before their father and I thank them with a new sibling next year. People keep asking me if I want a boy or girl... honestly, the more I think about it I don't care as long as the baby is healthy. I am already blessed with one of each.

Pictures from the Pine Tree Apple Orchard 2009

Thank you Parker for always saying the sweetest compliments when you know I need them, you are so aware and sensitive to others feelings it always amazes me. I know the movie that you and Papa are working so hard on will be a great success after much hard work!

Thank you Presley for always making me laugh, you have the most hilarious voices that I have ever heard! You always amaze me with how quickly you learn! Just today you rocked a spelling "test" and left me with my jaw on the floor. I could see from your beautiful secret smile that you were quite proud of yourself. Good job!

Two very bright and beautiful kids, thank you.

Mucho love!