THIS moment.

I started this blog to document my pregnancy with Adrayn. It has grown to be so much more. I am not timely in my writings... as I truly only write when I feel the need to. From time to time I will reflect back on older posts, as it can be a beautiful reminder of how much I've grown.

25 Weeks Pregnant with Adrayn

This blog was named "electrobabymama" as a joke. I was documenting my pregnancy via the internet... and the name was born from that. Looking back, it seems oddly fitting as I am the mother to a child whom has Epilepsy: aka wild electric storms in his brain. What a wild journey this blog has been. The most beautiful, and difficult times of my life. I hope this blog marks another story of beauty.

I was going to wait to write this, but I cannot live in fear, and the moment has struck me now. Now, I live for the moment.

Friday. 
THIS Friday, Adrayn will be ONE YEAR seizure-free.
I honestly never knew this was a possibility when I was in the thick of it.
I was almost resigned with this new way of anxiety-ridden life. A life of helplessness.

I am still coming to grips with the precious moments lost to seizures, and depression. Moments lost with an infant girl due to many overnights in the hospital. Moments lost to a son that was in a deep haze, post-seizure. There were many losses that year. Day by day, and moment by moment we made it through that hellish phase.

I cannot dwell too much in that year, or I it can be emotionally consuming. I will acknowledge how I have grown from it, and how I will begin each day with a grateful heart.

I have been more than fortunate with blessings this year. I know many respond with "You deserve these wonderful things"... and to that I say "Yes I do, but YOU do too!". This is something I am still in the beginning phase of learning, and will always hope to improve upon. I am stronger now, and the tools I have gained in my journey will only help me to persist, and succeed.

Let's look forward to a year of bliss and beauty. 

Mucho Love,

Mama Dray

In the name of love.

The day to pass is here and gone... I sat through 4 weeks with a heavy heart... and I still wait, but I know that this day (now three days ago), at 2pm my son did NOT have a seizure... this means they are not getting closer... (which many told me would happen). So... GOOD news... I hope! If he has one tomorrow, or next week, month... I will know that he went longer than he previously did... and hopefully that will give me some comfort.

I need to remind myself that it is hard to be in that moment... utterly helpless while your child is having a seizure... I would easily take his pain, and his ailments... if I was given the option... but I am not. I must watch him have a seizure... helplessly on the sidelines... wishing that it would be over... now... now... NOW! His little body twitches as his eyes roll back... his little fingers are stiff and flexed... his little lips turn purple and the breaths seem to struggle to make way into his tiny lungs...  I must watch, and wait... hoping the whole while that every choice my husband and I make is the one that will be the best one for our son... the one that will lead him to be his optimal self.

After that emotional roller-coaster is complete come the hugs & overbearing love. After a few days to a week of that comes the strict diet (which he IS on), is updated, tweaked... revised. Lastly, some form of acceptance and hope that this will pass takes over... Well, I am to the last phase, and will continue to be there for many weeks, and months, years and (hopefully) FOREVER.

In the meantime, my husband and I did our research and went with our gut... we're trying the all natural approach... What are we doing in this all-natural seizure treatment you ask?

While Adrayn previously ate quite healthy, we are now on a strict gluten-free, dairy-free diet (very Paleo-like). With foods including: bone broth, grass-fed/organic meats, many RAW veggies and limited fruit with a teeny, weeny exception here and there for some processed items like, liverwurst (his favorite) and grass-fed hot dogs. I am getting much better at finding his "likes".... such as: gluten-free crab cakes, cucumber boats with tuna salad, carrots with cashew butter... it's taking time, but there are some *gems* in there.

He is also taking Epsom baths 2-3x a week, a drinkable magnesium supplement and a children's vitamin every morning, that seems to be pretty potent as it has turned his urine BRIGHT yellow! Beyond that he has met with a Homeopathic doctor (Cilla), and she has him taking some homeopathic remedies daily, we are also seeing our child-friendly, chiropractor, Dr. Joessa on a weekly basis, and to button this all up his Massage Therapist mama is doing her best to keep him in balance and relaxed using a calming lavender balm for nightly massages!

We are also "sitting" on a few different options that many wonderful friends and groups have shared... we just didn't want to overwhelm him with too much. First we'll see how this regimen works.

Adrayn has two Neurological visits coming up on 2/21/14 (HCMC), and the day before his 4th Birthday 3/13/14 (Children's Hospital). I am really hoping to report NO news to either of them, and show them that this is all based on his diet... hopefully it will be a testament for ALL Doctors to look into food nutrition as an initial therapy - rather than phoning in a prescription (which only invokes fear to clueless parents). In our experiences Doctor's don't consider diet and/or supplements prior to giving them prescription drugs (which are reported to damage their little livers and kidneys). It's just a sad reality. Don't get me wrong... I am not saying that I wouldn't give my son these medications IF he needed them, I am just saying that ALL options should be looked at, and the Medical institution is good at... Well, medicine. Adrayn is VERY fortunate to have some amazing parents that are willing to do the work!

I have learned SOOOOO much from groups, peers, friends... THANK YOU ALL! It is an ever-lasting knowledge that I may use someday to help other parents that are thrust into this fearful situation. 

Just breathe and know that you have options. 

Thank you all for your support, it has helped me to be stronger for my little guy... truly.

I will try to keep up with documenting Adrayn's condition, and hopefully only positive news to come.

Lastly, we really must LEGALIZE MEDICAL CANNABIS!

MUCHO LOVE!