Cry Baby

I feel like I was slapped in the face with the cry baby hormone today.

I was just watching a birthing video, and started to cry when the mother described her story and used similar words I would use. She said, "I made it through the birth because I knew that if this little man could go through pain, and the unknown, that I would be there along side him". Ahh it just seemed so powerful. I had to stop the DVD and cry.

I feel that little Adrayn is the one that has the challenge ahead. He is the one that has to make the choice on when to "take the plunge", and he is the one that will be smashed (I assumed a tad painfully) through this little entrance into a big, bright, cold, and unknown place. All I have to do is deal with the pain... everything else is known to me.

 
I think I will enjoy this beautiful day by taking a nice walk. Thinking positive thoughts, of a happy, healthy birth. The days are numbered that I  have the power to protect you, as I now can with you tucked safely in my womb. I think I will appreciate every second that I have left.

I should end this before I start to cry again... what a roller coaster!

Mucho Love!

Mama me

I cannot wait to hold the coveted title of Mama.

I have held many titles in my life.... daughter, sister, wife, lover, partner, and step mom, but never a full blown Mama. This is a title that I will cherish along with all the others, as each has a it's own lesson to teach.

Adrayn | almost 35 weeks!

 

I am feeling antsy (as usual) to meet little Adrayn... and am curious as to how the whole scenario will unveil itself.
It's exciting to not know, but also a bit irritating. Will Jeremy be a work, or hanging out with me a home when things start?! Will I be cracking jokes (as I hope to do) in the hospital to keep my nerves down, and bring me back to calmness?

I believe this blog has mainly turned out to be a whole heck of a lot of questions lately... and maybe always. I don't think any of us ever know what this life is truly all about. We just assume to follow a certain way of life that was taught to us, and pass that down. Many of us choose to question ourselves, and re-evaluate everything in order to keep things in check. As I said earlier, that is one great gift that Parker and Presley have given me is re-evaluation... and I plan to do a lot more of it with Adrayn.

Please always keep me in check little man. Please always make this life one that is full of surprises and not hum-drum repetititve. I guess you do have your Papa in you as well, so maybe I can just figure that's a no brainer! :)
As much as the questions may drive me stir crazy, I do know that this is a story that will be told for many years, and I do already have many chapters underway.

Mucho Love!

The final countdown

Here it is, the home stretch.... so many emotions running through me at this time.
It's hard to plan something that you can't!

Pregnant Lady | 32-33 Weeks

I'm rounding up friends phone numbers in case the kids are here and we need an emergency babysitter until Jeremy's family can come to our aide. I'm also just trying to guesstimate when Adrayn may be born so that I can just plan on not having to do that all together...
I'm sure all will work out in the end, but I'm starting to get nervous about the little details at this point.

Planning tea with friends, and saying our good-byes... then realizing the next time I see them I may be holding a little one... it's just blowing my mind!

I think I need to start my "Whoo Whoo Hee Hee's" now...

I'm sure I'll be writing in here again before the big day, but I guess at this point it's anyone's guess. It could be next week, or in 2 months?! Whenever it is, I hope it's as smooth as possible!

Mucho Love!

To my soon to be sweetheart...

Dearest Adrayn,


I have woken up the last few nights and just sat awake for a bit to feel you move. Just lying there awake with my hand on that spot that you always seem to kick. I even started to cry when I realized that I soon will be holding you in my arms, and will no longer feel your little squirms and kicks inside of me. It is a feeling that has brought me comfort and joy over the last 15 weeks, and one that I will miss when you're born.... although I realize the trade-off is even more joyous.

It is impossible to know what to expect on any level with this experience, so all I can do is try.


I promise to try...
to live in the present with you, and enjoy all aspects of raising you
to have patience with you, when you are a baby and cannot yet speak, or when you're a teenager and test my last nerve
to always hold you when you need some warmth and love... this applies to you when you've grown into a man as well
to always try to set the best example I can for you to be proud of, and for you to learn from and set your own path
and to always be a source of unconditional love

You should know that you will have an overflowing amount of  love from grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings, and of course, your parents.
As the day I can see your beautiful face draws near, I await you with open arms.
As much as I will be guiding you in your life, you will also be guiding me in mine. I cannot wait to share this journey with you little man.

See you soon. Love you very much.
Mama

Blubber butt Amy

Like I don't feel out of shape enough already, I just took my Gestational Diabetes test (the One-Hour Screen Challenge) and failed!!! 

This means that I have to go back to the clinic on Wednesday and stick around for not 1 hour this time, but 3 hours, drink a cocktail that is 2X as sweet, and have my blood drawn every hour until they are satisfied that I am in the clear or they will diagnose me with Gestational Diabetes and I will have to watch my blood sugar.

Ahhhh...!!!!

Although, it states that only 15% of woman whom "fail" this test actually do "fail", and the other 85% that re-take with the 3-hour test are just fine... it still makes me nervous. It's a nice wake up call to cut out those sweets (sorry Adrayn)!
Website Reporting Above Statistics


I will let you all know what happens with test #2, but for now... no sweets for me, and a nice work-out routine is now in place.
I just don't understand... this is not genetic to my family, and I don't eat fast food, and DO exercise... I'm just a bit in awe about the whole situation.

Maybe it was the lab lady that said "No one has passed this today, good luck", that didn't send the correct positive vibes, or it could be the fact that I am ingesting too many cookies this holiday season. Whatever the reason.... I hope I am in the clear! I don't want a big baby!! Ouch!

Jeremy is a trooper, and is a nice positive light. If not for him, I'd be a depressed gal right now. He sat in on the 1-hour test, and has offered to render his companionship again for the 3-hour test. What a love. Thanks baby!

Wish me luck Wednesday!

Mucho Love.

It's never too late...

Here I am approaching my 30th week of pregnancy, and BOOM, I get sick.
The Midwife that I spoke to thinks it's more of a stomach virus than late morning sickness, but regardless... it's no fun sitting up 5 hours in the early morning vomiting your brains out, not to mention other lovely bodily functions...
I have a regularly scheduled appointment tomorrow so will know more then.

Sibling love

Parker loves his little brother

Presley and her belly brother

Anyways, let's get to something more positive. Adrayn is moving around like mad these days! Jeremy and I think he'll come early since he's such an eager little guy. It would be fun to start taking dates from you all and see your thoughts. Between the Midwife and the Ultra Sound Tech we've heard dates ranging from March 7th - March 13th.
Jeremy thought March 1st, and  once even stated February 10th... (yikes!), but I will say 3/3/10 myself.

What are your thoughts?

This will be a short entry since I'm a bit out of it and drained due to sickness. Hope you are all well.

Mucho Love!

Santa wants more mommies...

I must know literally 25 pregnant women at this point... not including me!

I don't know how to feel... happy, scared, ironic? I have never known so many women to be pregnant simultaneously in my life. Maybe it's my age, perhaps this economy creates more activity in the bedroom, or maybe something is in the water?!

Whatever it is, I'm sure you all can say the same... I'd like to know your thoughts.

Jeremy and I just finished making our holiday sweets and boy do I need to start giving them away before I eat them all! I am starting to think that buying stock in sweets isn't such a bad idea, or maybe listening to Stock Traders at Piper Jaffray for 2 months has sunk "Invest Now" into my subconscious.

(Salted Nut Roll & Chocolate Covered Cherries)

Pregnant Lady | 26 weeks

(Help! My head is disappearing!!)

I am still feeling wonderful overall. Just a bit more out of breath these days, still craving sweets like mad, and starting to feel the Braxton Hicks contractions. It's nothing more than my stomach becoming hard, but it is a bit odd to think that those can start as early as now... actually an article I read stated they start as early as 6 weeks, but you don't even notice them until later.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_braxton-hicks-contractions_156.bc


I am looking into Hypnobirthing as a labor tool. I don't think I'll spend the whopping $350.00 on classes, but rather purchase a book/CD combo and hope for the best!
I have a really wonderful and supporting partner that is all geared up and more prepared than I am. Jeremy has already purchased organic diapers stating "You will always need diapers, might as well start stocking up while they are on sale!"
I think the fact that he has already gone through this experience twice is very beneficial to myself and Adrayn now. Jeremy has been calm, cool, and excited for this event to take place.
To change things up from his previous experiences we are planning on Jeremy being the person that will be "delivering/catching" our son.
I think his previous experience is comforting to me; knowing that he has been through this, I feel more trusting  leaning on him for support.

I can't wait to hold our little man! Feelings change week to week... fears, joys, but this week I am more confident, and reassured with Jeremy's support.
Wow, is this really going to happen?! Bring it on!
 
Now... to just get James Bond prepared.... Hmmm.... he's a total mama's boy. A reality check is coming sooner than he thinks!

Mucho Love!