Sloane Bologna

Sloane,

Wow... I cannot believe that you are heading towards 11 months old!
With so much going on one can easily become lost and overwhelmed... but, you bring be back from the insanity... always.
You have begun to go from a "few" steps, to full blown walking in days... Your little baby jeans move so adorably with each step.

You always amaze me.
I am one truly blessed mama to have you in my life.

I remember when I had my tarot cards read for my 35th Birthday, the reader stated that you would be an amazing person.. actually the word she used was Buddha. She also stated that your brother Adrayn would be a Healer... and I can see that happening with all of his experiences with Doctors and Hospitals.

Back to you... my beautiful Sloane. So patient with me as I tend to your brother's needs. You have the most genuine and gentle soul I have ever come into contact with. Full of hugs and kisses... following your big brother around so curiously.
You love ANY food that is placed in front of you. You are not picky whatsoever like Adrayn was. One area that you could stand improvement in would be the car... you despise being in the car... anything over 10 minutes and we hear the ear piercing wail that could easily render one deaf.

You love to co-sleep with us, and feel your mama nice and close... you nuzzle your way right in towards my warm breath.

I love you so much. I couldn't have been more blessed to have you in my life.
xo,
Mama

My Tiny Tim

Our son, Adrayn, had his second seizure today... well, as far as I know it's his second. This was also the day that my Mother-in-law had purchased tickets for Jeremy, myself and my two amazing step kids to see "A Christmas Carol" at the Guthrie. After plenty of rest and cuddles, Adrayn did get back to his old ways, so we made the call to keep with our plans and see the play that was so generously gifted to us (with a cell phone in my sweaty hand the whole while), and left the wee ones in my Mother-in-law's very capable hands.

I have seen this movie, and smaller production of this play before... however, this time it resonated with me more than ever. My little Tiny Tim... my little Adrayn. I watched Tiny Tim at the dinner table with his family... he was such a positive soul , creating smiles all around. Then, again later as they carried his miniature casket through the town with sullen looks... and lastly, when Scrooge snapped out if his greedy, lonesome trance and they said Tiny Tim would live and grow to do many wonderful things... and I cried... no, I balled... my little Tiny Tim... my Adrayn.

Being a parent isn't an easy task... if I could go back in time and re-do it all, of course I would... but before doing so I would breathe the air deeply... the air, free of heartache... that only being a parent, no... only that loving someone with all that you are, can bring...
Yes, being a parent brings much joy, but the heartache is almost unbearable at times.... times like these.

Please love your little ones... let them know you love them endlessly... say it daily, hourly... I will never breathe air again like I once did, and that is okay, but if you can... please take a big breath for me.

We have an EEG on January 2nd... we hope for some answers. In the meantime we'll be trying the Ketogenic diet (supposed to work well with child seizures), and chiropractic visits. Also, it never hurts to ask... please keep Adrayn in your thoughts and prayers.



Mucho Love.