A love letter.... to me!

 
I noticed in my blogs that I'm loving everyone else.... but it's time Mama Dray gives herself a little lovin!
I'm pretty damn awesome if I must say so myself.
I am an amazing mom, wife, creative thinker, inspiration, cook, motivator, lover, baker, friend, smiler, biker, gardener, dancer, recycler, bed-time story teller, seamstress (because I don't want to call myself a sewer), writer, masseuse, joker, and ........ person! Whew!
 

I have such a vibrant loving personality that hopefully shines onto everyone I meet!

I'm happy to know all of you, and blessed to have you all in my life.
Let's all take a deep breath and love ourselves. We are pretty awesome, aren't we?!

Mucho love to us all!

Pour ma chérie : trois

There you are. Frozen in time in the pictures below.
The loving father, the adoring husband, the friend. You have so many roles, so much to be loved and appreciated for. You love, you teach, you learn, you grow, you share, and so much more.

You are such a beautiful father. Loving, nurturing, and inspiring to your children and others. You seem to have certain kind of  magic with little minds.
I am so grateful to have you in my life, and to share this earthly experience with you and our beautiful family.

 

I can't help but to feel mushy when I think of you, of us. Of all that we have been through, the good and the not so good . We have come to this day... the present, with such a fresh love for one another.

Just one look and I fall in love with you all over again.

It's always those little moments. The ones where you hold my hand, buy a book that you know I'll love, kill all the centipedes even though you feel they are "good" around the house, change that extra dirty diaper, kiss me for no reason, and most of all, when you just always know how to make me laugh. The loud belly kind of laugh that only you know.
Thank you love. For all that you do, all that you are, and what you have yet to show me. I look forward to the road ahead, but think I'll stick to the present so I don't miss a single moment of it along the way!!!

Je t'aime.

xoxo

-Wifey
1|11|11

Daily Meditations

I have always tried to be aware in my life. In the present. This hasn't always been so easy.
I tend to look forward to something in the future, or I get upset about something I should have done differently in the past.... it could go on forever.
Lately though, I have much to be thankful for. I am, in a sense being forced to be aware.

Life is so much more calm, and beautiful from here.

It is a difficult path in the sense that I am constantly checking myself, but I believe it will pay off immensely once the habit forms.
I love this path as it promotes healthy relationships not based on any assumptions.
I can now see with my new eyes and everything is much clearer and simple.

Mucho Love!

Emergency: A Mama's take

A feeling, a sight, a sound.... everything I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy happens to mothers daily... and it happened to me on Sunday 8/21/11.

Jeremy, myself and the whole kitten caboodle (Parker, Presley, and Adrayn) went to visit their cousin for her baptism party. All was great and after consuming a delicious meal a family friend asked if I was interested in a walk around the neighborhood. Since I ate a hearty helping I was more than happy to join.

About 15 or so minutes into the walk I was met on the street by my mother in law. She stated that Adrayn had a fall and that there was some blood... something that may need a few stitches.

Once getting back to the home to meet Jeremy and Adrayn I noticed that this wasn't anything minor in my book, but appreciate the calmness my mother in law may have intended. I was shocked. My little beautiful baby boy's lip was split in two. He was in a daze and just looking at my reaction ready to cry again... I had to grab my purse and go, go, GO, NOW!
I did so, it was all a blur. I grabbed Adrayn and hopped in the back seat holding him as Jeremy started for the freeway. It seemed to take 5 hours to drive 20 minutes. My child's lip is hanging, just bleeding and dangling there... I want to throw up, but we have to get him there, where? Which hospital....? Which is closest....?
We found Children's on Chicago and Lake... that was a good call as it was made for kids.
We show up... it takes 2 more hours before he even has numbing gel placed on his dangling lip... I am sick.
I can't be there like I wanted to be. I was still in shock, 2 hours later... how? Am I here? Is this real? Why can I see the inside of my son's lip... why is he sucking on it? How can I make him stop so it doesn't get worse or make him cry more?

When they placed the stitches Jeremy held Adrayn and I was by his feet humming, and kissing his toes as I was too hurt to see them stitch his lip. I am such a bad mother... that's all that I thought.... what mother doesn't take him away from all this pain..... this was hell. I would no doubt trade this moment to give birth all over...  no doubt.

I know a torn lip isn't life or death, but when your child is in pain... especially in a pain that you yourself have never felt or seen.... it is something monstrous that no one should ever go through.
Thank you Jeremy for holding our son when I couldn't. Thank you suture nurse for loving my son as if he was yours, and calming me as if I was you. Thank you Jamie, Sandy, Joanie, Trudy, and Gordon for watching Parker and Presley in this time of need.
These are the moments that ALL parents dread.


I love you Adrayn. I am more than elated that you awoke the very next morning jumping on the bed, and laughing. I am more than ecstatic that you smiled more than you have ever before with your swollen lips and stitched up mouth. You are my champion, my brave boy. I have so much to learn from you, but please... just please stop dancing on chairs, running around the house, and climbing on everything... Mama has had enough for one lifetime. Who needs a work out video/routine when you have a dare devil child to chase all day?!

All eight stitches come out Friday 8/26/11 via my mom the nurse. A much more appreciated face than those people in the blue coats. Also, this will be done in his home which is filled with love. No more anxiety for us anytime soon hopefully!

Mucho Love.
Mama

Money

Q: What is money?
A: Paper, in which people place themselves in a "higher" or "lower" status

Why is it a need? Why can't we all just take money away, and look at who we are as individuals? I'm sure we'd all be better people if money was taken out of the equation.
Sure, it would take some time to transition, but what doesn't... a break-up isn't healed overnight, a death may never truly pass, but this is something that we can and should all let go of.

Can money truly buy you happiness?
If so, I view it as only temporary....

I will give you all of my money, but I will always have a smile on my face, and that.... you cannot take.

Mucho Love!

Morning Glory

Ahhh Adrayn.... you poor teething soul. Your Papa and I got about 2 hours sleep last night thanks to those 8 teeth of yours coming in.
I could not imagine the pain you feel. Poor little guy.

Then to top it off this morning you decided to go exploring in your diaper, and beyond explore, I believe you thought of this new substance as an art tool. I was a bit shocked when walking in this morning to find that lovely surprise awaiting me, especially after a night of not so much sleep.

Ahhh... these are the memories that we must capture, and share with you as  you grow older. My little artist.
I think we'll try to stink to paints, or even clay in the future... please.

Mucho Love!

In with the new!

Time to change the "electrobabymama" picture, and welcome my little man growing up!

I love you little Adrayn, and I can't believe how you've grown. Your favorite foods are beets, pickled green beans, and braunschweiger liverwurst with mustard... yes, the only way of finding these things out is by your odd parents eating it as well...
It's almost your 1st birthday, and I am so elated, and yet soooooo in shock. How did a whole year fly by?
The bittersweet of it all is that I will return to work on this joyous day. After celebrating Adrayn's big "1" the weekend before, mama starts her new job on 3.14.11. Then we're off to a dual celebratory din-din!

Luckily at this time I'll be starting part-time, so I'll have a bit of transition leaving you, and also no need for a sitter. So it's the best possible scenario!

Your brother and sister are here for the week, and boy do you LOVE when they are here. You light up like you've just won the grandest of prizes! You also seem to want to act like a "big boy" a tad more. The way you look at Parker is just priceless, and the way you love when Presley plays mama to you is adorable.
  

I hope you all grow old and remember the love you now share.

Much Love!